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A guy walks into a bar looking real down in the dumps. The bartender notices this and asks the guy what is wrong. "My wife told me if I ever come home drunk again, she was going to divorce me." The bartender tells the guy he has nothing to worry about, it was probably just a threat. The guy agrees with the bartender and proceeds to get drunk. After more shots of rum and tequila than he can count, the man is sitting with his face down at the bar and pukes all over his shirt. After realizing what he had done, the man starts to panic "What am I going to do?! My wife is going to kick me out of the house and take everything I've got!" The bartender calms him down and tells him to stick a $20 bill in his shirt pocket and tell his wife it was some other drunk who puked all over him and he gave him the twenty to cover the shirt. After a couple cups of coffee the guy drives home to find his wife packing her bags. He starts to explain what happened to his shirt and he pulls out two $20 bills to show his wife. Wondering why the man gave her husband $40, the wife asks "What's the other $20 bill for?" The husband replies "He shit in my pants too."


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