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Two men walk into a bar both wearing long faces. The bartender asks the first man "Why the long faces?" The first man replied "Well, my wife and I went out to dinner the other night and we had a gorgeous waitress. When I pointed to the menu to tell her what I wanted I said, 'I'd like a tit of bat,' but what I meant to say was, 'I'd like a bit of that!' The bartender says "Oh! How about you, buddy?" he asked the other man. "My wife and I were eating breakfast and I meant to say 'Please pass the butter,' but it came out 'You ruined my life, bitch!'


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